Today I had two very important appointments today that changed his future outlook. The neurosurgeon removed his staples and said the scar looks good. My tumor is a glioblastoma because of it being a stage 4 brain tumor. The neuro-oncologist gave me four options / plans to choose from to attacking this cancer. The plan I chose was the one to be very aggressive and hammer away at the tumor. I will be doing radiation and chemo. At this time I am still deciding on whether to do a medical device called Optune..
I asked the doctor why it came back so soon? She said that in her line of business, 5 years is a long time. I was also told today that the tumor will come back within the next three years. At which time I will need to make decisions again about how to attack the tumor.
This all hit me hard. I have been diagnosed with cancer yet again and I am healthy. I eat a specific diet to help and I am active and workout out. Today was one of those days where I could only say F.U. to the world. I am so beyond mad, frustrated, and sad. Seems like no matter what I do cancer is destined to be/stay with me. I indulged in pizza and ate a tub of mint moose tracks ice cream. Today crushed me mentally. I mean I literally just graduated on the 9th and was ready to start living the “normal” life. Today I let myself feel this way but tomorrow I start the mental game battle and get ready for this fight again. I will not go down without a fight!!!
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